Today my grandmother spoke to me. She did, it’s really true. Her words came soft and gentle, in a voice I remember as if it were my own. Oh, don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t my earthly grandmother. At least, not merely she. But then again, perhaps it was. Who can say? Who really knows?
All I know is this: Her words were those I needed to hear. Her touch was that I needed to feel. Her heart was big enough for me to climb right in and rest inside, and her arms felt large enough to hold the whole world, as if she were all the grandmothers from all time rolled up in one, all their wisdom, all their love, all their learning, that wise old woman guiding from within, whenever I slow down enough to listen to her voice. Grandmother held me there, cradled me, rocked away my tears as she reminded me of all the things I already know. All the things I’ve forgotten along the way on this racetrack we call life.
She told me I didn’t need to try so hard, then said to share her words with you –perhaps they’ll sooth your heart as well. So let’s expand the circle, and say that once again:
You don’t need to try so hard. You’re already doing far more than need be. Relax. Sit back and take a breath. Breathe in the universe and know that it is enough to simply be. To simply love. There is no doing that will fill those holes; we waste our lives with trying. These holes fill only with time, as we sit in surrender and allow them to overflow with love, like ocean waves washing in to moats of childhood sandcastles. No matter how many buckets we carry or how fast we run, the sand will only suck it dry, until a sea change, when the tide comes in, as tides always do, and then, there can be no stopping it. The sand will overflow with mother’s love, and moats will fill all on their own. Perhaps we only learn to watch where we build our castles a little more carefully, to be aware of time and tides and where the stars may fall.
My grandmother spoke to me today. Her words were new yet ancient, her love a spring within. Don’t back down, she said. You already know all you need to know. Put it to use now. Stand up for yourself and what you believe is right. Open your arms, receive all that is coming to you, and know you are surrounded by love, and more abundance than you could ever possibly realize. Look, see it there, in the millions of sunbeams pouring around you, the billions of tiny water droplets around your feet, each strand of each feather on the birds that fill the skies above. That same abundance fills your blood, your life, your flow – the very same.
My grandmother spoke to me today. Slow down, she said. You don’t have to rush – you have all the time and energy you need for what is yours to do, that which appears right before you in each and every moment. You don’t have to seek out anything more. Too often when we do that, we wind up distracted by the glamours of this world, the bits and baubles, the dollars and digits, the fortune and fame, even an urgent ego-driven craving to “save the world.” Slow down, she said. The world isn’t yours to save – it is mine – and when we get so caught up in that ultimate ego trip that masquerades as doing good, we fall prey to the same illusion from which we hope to save others, that same old hamster wheel. Slow down, breathe…. slow down, breathe…….. slow down. The only heart you can ever truly save is yours, and that only when you accept and surrender, and learn to ask for help.
My grandmother spoke to me today. Stand up and speak your truth, she said. Those things you know, those things you may still only half suspect. Speak them. Put them in words and sing them out, for all the world to hear. You always were a writer; you don’t think that gift came just for you, do you? Tell them – remind them – their grandmothers are waiting to speak with them as well, each and everyone of them. It won’t take long, it’s not too hard. Just a few precious moments, this very minute now – and there she’ll be, there I’ll be, there you’ll be, and when we are in that place together, we are all one, and the words will flow, and the love will flow, and the healing will flow, and dreams will take shape before your eyes, bold and brilliant, beautiful and blossoming in the light of a new sun, the glory of a new moon, the splendor of a new world.
Today my grandmother spoke to me, and this was what she said.
Today my grandmother spoke.
New Moon, September 15, 2012, Arnold, MD
© 2012 Mary Batson, Front Porch Rambles.com
All rights reserved – including the one to see my Grandmother everywhere I look.